Here is the remaining part of the so-called 'Romantic Comedy' or 'Comedy of Errors', containing the most interesting statements resulting from small linguistic mistakes inadvertently made by people learning English as a second foreign language.
I can usually know when he is lying
Because he starts to breed a little faster.
BREED
[bri:d]
I. 1. to give birth, reproduce. breed (oneself), spawn, breed, have offspring
BREATHE
[bri:ð]
1. to breathe
I think she wants to spit up with me.
SPIT
[spit]
III. 1. to spit, to expectorate
to SPIT on/upon fig. to spit on
SPLIT UP
['splitʌp]
I
to separate (oneself)
We were lovers,
but now she is my biggest enema!
ENEMY
['enimi]
1. enemy, foe, opponent (of, to)
ENEMA
['enimə]
1. enema
2. irrigator
My relationship with my
ax girlfriend was so painful.
AX/AXE
[æks]
I. 1. axe, hatchet, battle-axe
EX
[eks]
IV. n informal former husband/wife
I am so eager to mate you!
MEET
[mi:t]
I. 1. to meet (with), to encounter, to gather
MATE
[meit]
to marry (oneself) (with or without with)
2. to pair, to couple, to mate
Please excuse me for being late.
EXECUTE
['eksikju:t]
5. to execute
EXCUSE
[iks'kju:z]
I. 1. to excuse, to forgive, to justify