Do We Sometimes Know What We're Saying – Part Three

Here is the remaining part of the so-called 'Romantic Comedy' or 'Comedy of Errors', containing the most interesting statements resulting from small linguistic mistakes inadvertently made by people learning English as a second foreign language.

I can usually know when he is lying
Because he starts to breed a little faster.

BREED

[bri:d]

I. 1. to give birth, reproduce. breed (oneself), spawn, breed, have offspring

BREATHE

[bri:ð]

1. to breathe

I think she wants to spit up with me.

SPIT

[spit]

III. 1. to spit, to expectorate

to SPIT on/upon fig. to spit on

SPLIT UP

['splitʌp]

I

to separate (oneself)

We were lovers,
but now she is my biggest enema!

ENEMY

['enimi]

1. enemy, foe, opponent (of, to)

ENEMA

['enimə]

1. enema

2. irrigator

My relationship with my
ax girlfriend was so painful.

AX/AXE

[æks]

I. 1. axe, hatchet, battle-axe

EX

[eks]

IV. n informal former husband/wife

I am so eager to mate you!

MEET

[mi:t]

I. 1. to meet (with), to encounter, to gather

MATE

[meit]

to marry (oneself) (with or without with)

2. to pair, to couple, to mate

Please excuse me for being late.

EXECUTE

['eksikju:t]

5. to execute

EXCUSE

[iks'kju:z]

I. 1. to excuse, to forgive, to justify